Wipflatsand is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, vain dryad.

Wipflatsand created the Tadpole Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipflatsand, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wipflatsand, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Wipflatsand's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Wipflatsand's Holy Commandments

1. Wipflatsand must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near sheep while wearing turquoise boots and balancing four iron spheres on your neck.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Do not listen to music.