Lidgetcun Lak is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, conceited spider.

Lidgetcun Lak created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidgetcun Lak, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lidgetcun Lak, she will curse you with boils.

Lidgetcun Lak's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Lidgetcun Lak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing cyan ear rings.

2. Never sing in the presence of turtles.

3. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. You must love Lidgetcun Lak.