Habnig is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, resourceful parrot.

Habnig created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Habnig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Habnig, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Habnig's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Habnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

4. Put Habnig first in all things.

5. Never think about bacteria.