Kiphogstig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, amazing rhinoceros.

Kiphogstig created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kiphogstig, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kiphogstig, she will turn you into a worm.

Kiphogstig's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Kiphogstig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always obey Kiphogstig's priests.

3. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Kiphogstig on top of important buildings.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always help sick dogs.