Vabmonnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, resourceful mink.

Vabmonnurt created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabmonnurt, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vabmonnurt, she will turn you into a rat.

Vabmonnurt's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Vabmonnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never talk about great tits.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.