Betsogappvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, irritating donkey.

Betsogappvonk created the Tadpole Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Betsogappvonk, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Betsogappvonk, she will come to you in dreams.

Betsogappvonk's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Betsogappvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Never go into cyan rooms.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.