Habhubzog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, emotional monkey.

Habhubzog created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Habhubzog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Habhubzog, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Habhubzog's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Habhubzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.