Matgepgat is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy slug.

Matgepgat created the Tadpole Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matgepgat, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Matgepgat, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Matgepgat's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Matgepgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not keep six shrews in a large pit.