Cedfemmitbep is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, uncaring hippopotamus.

Cedfemmitbep created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cedfemmitbep, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cedfemmitbep, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cedfemmitbep's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Cedfemmitbep's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not kill snakes.

4. Never sing in the presence of manatees.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near voles while wearing purple rings and balancing four zinc spheres on your back.