Ligbonkgunfut is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, bad-tempered seal.

Ligbonkgunfut created a strange quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ligbonkgunfut, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ligbonkgunfut, he will make you grow a tail.

Ligbonkgunfut's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Ligbonkgunfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Ligbonkgunfut in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Hide if five great tits approach from the west.