Habnadbophapdit Godcemgub is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, effective gnu.

Habnadbophapdit Godcemgub created matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Habnadbophapdit Godcemgub, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Habnadbophapdit Godcemgub, he will turn you into a dog.

Habnadbophapdit Godcemgub's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Habnadbophapdit Godcemgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never sit in the presence of manatees.

4. Never think about spacetime near snakes while wearing purple stockings and balancing three titanium spheres on your feet.

5. Do not kill goats.