Dabcutbass is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, strong lizard.

Dabcutbass created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dabcutbass, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dabcutbass, he will not invite you to parties.

Dabcutbass' most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Dabcutbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt bats.

2. Do not dye your hair blue.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect six nickel sculptures of Dabcutbass on top of important buildings.

5. Do not make images of living things.