Zigrullgess is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, prudent beaver.

Zigrullgess created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigrullgess, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zigrullgess, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zigrullgess' most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Zigrullgess' Holy Commandments

1. Zigrullgess must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never pour water over plants.