Tarfadyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, amazing mole.

Tarfadyarp created the Milkyway seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarfadyarp, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tarfadyarp, he will cry a lot.

Tarfadyarp's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Tarfadyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear white clothing.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Always help dogs in need.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.