Lapbapbestfencatdib is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, staggering hyena.

Lapbapbestfencatdib created Mount Everest two million years ago.

If you believe in Lapbapbestfencatdib, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lapbapbestfencatdib, he will turn you into a worm.

Lapbapbestfencatdib's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Lapbapbestfencatdib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Lapbapbestfencatdib must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Lapbapbestfencatdib loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near snakes while wearing cyan dresses and balancing three copper spheres on your head.