Bessmonfun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, selfish hyena.

Bessmonfun created viruses three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessmonfun, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bessmonfun, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bessmonfun's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bessmonfun's Holy Commandments

1. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Bessmonfun loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not kill tapirs.

5. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Bessmonfun in the centre of the settlement.