Bonbim is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, annoying crane.

Bonbim created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonbim, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bonbim, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Bonbim's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Bonbim's Holy Commandments

1. Bonbim loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Bonbim must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Do not sit in public.