Jenbuscat is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered fish.

Jenbuscat created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jenbuscat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jenbuscat, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Jenbuscat's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Jenbuscat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to pigs while wearing violet scarves.

2. Never feed coconuts to goats while wearing jumpers.

3. Never wear mauve ear rings.

4. Hide from purple whales for they are unholy.

5. Jenbuscat loves badgers, so they must be honoured.