Jonsafpib is a god.

It takes the form of a small, selfish swallow.

Jonsafpib created the Andromeda Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Jonsafpib, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jonsafpib, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Jonsafpib's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Jonsafpib's Holy Commandments

1. Put Jonsafpib first in all things.

2. Feed all hungry squirrels.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.