Rutnartsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, confident mink.

Rutnartsaw created Asia four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutnartsaw, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rutnartsaw, it will destroy your home planet.

Rutnartsaw's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Rutnartsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics.

2. Geese are not to be trusted.

3. Never talk about spacetime near capybaras while wearing mauve rings and balancing three iron spheres on your arms.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.