Dogcudzed is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless capybara.

Dogcudzed created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dogcudzed, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dogcudzed, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Dogcudzed's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Dogcudzed's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry frogs.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near otters while wearing brown dresses and balancing eight tin spheres on your hands.

4. Retreat if seven monkeys approach from the south.

5. Dogcudzed must be the most important thing in your life.