Bumzaklog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, awesome giraffe.

Bumzaklog created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Bumzaklog, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bumzaklog, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bumzaklog's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bumzaklog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never talk about frogs.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.