Gedwigjat Wanxinbastvid is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, clever squid.

Gedwigjat Wanxinbastvid created gold eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedwigjat Wanxinbastvid, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gedwigjat Wanxinbastvid, he will not invite you to parties.

Gedwigjat Wanxinbastvid's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Gedwigjat Wanxinbastvid's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never wear violet hats.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.