Hadhaslun is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, slow wyrm.

Hadhaslun created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadhaslun, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hadhaslun, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Hadhaslun's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Hadhaslun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Hadhaslun loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near gulls while wearing gray skirts.

4. You must love Hadhaslun.

5. Never look at galaxies.