Ladnelcut is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, witless wolf.

Ladnelcut created humanity twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ladnelcut, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ladnelcut, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Ladnelcut's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Ladnelcut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. You must never eat spinach.

4. Do not kill nematodes.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.