Yatfunarm is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, awe-inspiring jaguar.

Yatfunarm created the Milkyway nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatfunarm, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yatfunarm, she will think nothing of it.

Yatfunarm's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Yatfunarm's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four gulls approach from the south.

2. Put Yatfunarm first in all things.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Yatfunarm must be the most important thing in your life.