Sigtiktinpid is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, irritating slug.

Sigtiktinpid created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigtiktinpid, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sigtiktinpid, she will destroy your home planet.

Sigtiktinpid's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Sigtiktinpid's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never mention manatees.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics.