Tinparkdad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, omniscient fairy.

Tinparkdad created everything that exists three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinparkdad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tinparkdad, it will turn you into a mole.

Tinparkdad's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Tinparkdad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat garlic.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tinparkdad.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never pour water over plants.