Zagtofbell is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, overgenerous elephant.

Zagtofbell created a charm quark four years ago.

If you believe in Zagtofbell, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zagtofbell, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Zagtofbell's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Zagtofbell's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

4. You must love Zagtofbell.

5. Never look in ponds.