Kamomthab is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, emotional dugong.

Kamomthab created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Kamomthab, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kamomthab, she will cry a lot.

Kamomthab's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Kamomthab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of figs to tortoises while wearing magenta kilts.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.