Quartflowart is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, duplicitous newt.

Quartflowart created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartflowart, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quartflowart, she will turn you into a slug.

Quartflowart's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Quartflowart's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not keep three foxes in a large pit.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Hide if four cats approach from the north.

5. Do not eat onions.