Monlidmad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, contented hummingbird.

Monlidmad created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monlidmad, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Monlidmad, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Monlidmad's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Monlidmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near ants while wearing mauve ear rings and balancing three carbon spheres on your hands.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always help tapirs in need.

5. Never laugh in holy places.