Metcanfly is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unfair unicorn.

Metcanfly created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Metcanfly, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Metcanfly, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Metcanfly's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Metcanfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Metcanfly loves otters, so they must be respected.

3. Great tits are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about dark matter.

5. Do not kill horses.