Nillmapvin is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humane cat.

Nillmapvin created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Nillmapvin, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nillmapvin, it will turn you into a dog.

Nillmapvin's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Nillmapvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat grapes.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Never feed rice to foxes while wearing dresses.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help goats.