Jonjarnmet is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, ruthless bat.

Jonjarnmet created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonjarnmet, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jonjarnmet, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Jonjarnmet's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Jonjarnmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Hide if eight squirrels approach from the east.

5. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.