Wapgettof is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, loving donkey.

Wapgettof created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wapgettof, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wapgettof, he will have a low opinion of you.

Wapgettof's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Wapgettof's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of otters.

2. Never talk about optics near dogs while wearing fawn shoes and balancing nine iron spheres on your head.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never write about bacteria.