Larnyarparp is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, prudent turtle.

Larnyarparp created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Larnyarparp, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Larnyarparp, he will turn you into a rat.

Larnyarparp's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Larnyarparp's Holy Commandments

1. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Always help badgers.

5. Run away if eight dolphins approach from the south.