Pagflis is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, compassionate bird.

Pagflis created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Pagflis, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pagflis, he will turn you into a sheep.

Pagflis' most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Pagflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near eagles while wearing violet scarves and balancing nine lead spheres on your neck.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always help nematodes.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Always wear orange.