Legbasstik is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, awesome cow.

Legbasstik created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legbasstik, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Legbasstik, it will destroy your home solar system.

Legbasstik's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Legbasstik's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Legbasstik.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never hurt birds.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.