Cemsatlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic yak.

Cemsatlarp created the Tadpole Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Cemsatlarp, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cemsatlarp, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Cemsatlarp's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Cemsatlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine sheep approach from the south.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never hop in holy places.