Cidgomten Femdumcem is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, unfair jellyfish.

Cidgomten Femdumcem created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Cidgomten Femdumcem, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cidgomten Femdumcem, she will refuse to believe in you.

Cidgomten Femdumcem's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Cidgomten Femdumcem's Holy Commandments

1. Cidgomten Femdumcem loves horses, so they must be honoured.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.