Catragtailzogbut is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, staggering clam.

Catragtailzogbut created the world four years ago.

If you believe in Catragtailzogbut, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Catragtailzogbut, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Catragtailzogbut's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Catragtailzogbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown shoes.

2. Do not speak about wheat.

3. Run away if three goats approach from the east.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not kill aardvarks.