Hotzimlencim is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unjust hydra.

Hotzimlencim created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Hotzimlencim, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hotzimlencim, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hotzimlencim's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Hotzimlencim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Do not speak about lemons.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. You must love Hotzimlencim.