Tafmutwoddutbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, generous elephant.

Tafmutwoddutbiss created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafmutwoddutbiss, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tafmutwoddutbiss, he will have a low opinion of you.

Tafmutwoddutbiss' most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tafmutwoddutbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Never wear red trousers.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.