Spagkintail is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, overgenerous alligator.

Spagkintail created the Sol system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagkintail, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Spagkintail, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Spagkintail's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Spagkintail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never hurt great tits.

3. Retreat if five sheep approach from the south.

4. Never talk about dogs.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.