Bogvolfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, emotional guinea pig.

Bogvolfoss created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogvolfoss, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bogvolfoss, she will turn you into a slug.

Bogvolfoss' most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Bogvolfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bogvolfoss.

2. Never think about quantum gravity.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not make images of living things.