Rowqueegwotten is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, passionate human.

Rowqueegwotten created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Rowqueegwotten, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rowqueegwotten, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rowqueegwotten's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Rowqueegwotten's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not speak about peanuts.

3. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

4. Never run in the presence of goats.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.