Bemfonhab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, self-confident porpoise.

Bemfonhab created the world three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemfonhab, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bemfonhab, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bemfonhab's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bemfonhab's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bemfonhab's priests.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Bemfonhab on top of all buildings.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.