Bissfadnad is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, sage octopus.

Bissfadnad created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bissfadnad, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bissfadnad, she will remove you from existence.

Bissfadnad's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Bissfadnad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into blue rooms.

2. Always help hamsters in need.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Hide if seven geese approach from the north.