Floweegenpidjam is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, irritating jaguar.

Floweegenpidjam created a bottom quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Floweegenpidjam, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Floweegenpidjam, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Floweegenpidjam's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Floweegenpidjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four hamsters in a large pit.

2. Floweegenpidjam must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about nucleic acids.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about aardvarks.